Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
