"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
