we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize