i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
