Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize