so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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