like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
