The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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