I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
