The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
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They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
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No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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