You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
