k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
