he wants to bone in the snuggie
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
