How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
