This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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