i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
