just come out here and I will go home with you...
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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