no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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