Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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