i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
