how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
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After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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