After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
