He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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