even my farts smell like vagina
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I am one with the molecules
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
