the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
