2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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