bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
