The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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