I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
