she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
