I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
