make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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