dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
