so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
