ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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