You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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