Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Randomize