thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
