Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
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We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
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Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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