Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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