I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize