I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
