I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
