well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
