you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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