it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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