ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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