Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
