Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
