so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
