I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
