ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize