Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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