oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
