maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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