well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
