she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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