I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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