Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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