I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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