You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He? As in you personified your dick?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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